Next!
How’s it hangin’, Pete? You don’t mind if I call ya’“Pete,” do ya’?
Name?
It’s me. George. You know me. Some people called me “Dubya.” You know… for how I got a dubya in my middle name.
Cause of expiration?
What’s goin’ on up here? Don’t you folks watch the news? I choked on another one o’ them… what you call ‘em?…pretzels. But momma got the coroner to say it was a heart 'tack so’s I wouldn’t look so much like a doof.
Why did you come here, Mr. Bush? You should have waited until you were called.
It’s Heaven, ain’t it? I died, and I’m a Meth’dist, so where else would I be? An’ I want t’ tell you b’fore I forget, You’re doin’ a heck of a job up here, Pete.
Mr. Bush, this isn’t Yale. There are no legacy admissions here. Each soul must be accepted, or denied, on his or her merits, and nothing else.
But I was pres’dent. You can’t keep a pres’dent out. It says somewhere in the Constitution I think, how a pres’dent gets to keep his Secret Service guys 'til when he dies, then he goes to Heaven. Go ask Reagan, he’ll tell ya’. An’ tell him I’m here, would ya’?
Mr. Bush, our records show it was you who authorized the actions that condemned those lands you call “Iraq” to a perpetual cycle of violence, chaos and war.
That was more Cheney’s doin’, Pete. Shoot, I hardly knew what Iraq was 'til Dick said we had to invade 'em. Say Pete, did you know they had two kinds of Mooslims there? Shoot, nobody ever told me there was two kinds of Mooslims anywheres. I thought they were like Cath’lics. You know, wheres the only difference is if you’re Irish or Mexican or Eye-talian.
Surely you can’t be saying that as leader of the most powerful country down on Earth, you had no part in a decision that left tens of thousands of people dead and maimed, including thousands of your own soldiers?
Wull sure. I had plenty to do with it. I was the decider. I… what I mean is… I did the decidin’. Only one guy decides what needs to get done, and that was me. But it was ol’ Dick who told me what…
How’s it hangin’, Pete? You don’t mind if I call ya’“Pete,” do ya’?
Name?
It’s me. George. You know me. Some people called me “Dubya.” You know… for how I got a dubya in my middle name.
Cause of expiration?
What’s goin’ on up here? Don’t you folks watch the news? I choked on another one o’ them… what you call ‘em?…pretzels. But momma got the coroner to say it was a heart 'tack so’s I wouldn’t look so much like a doof.
Why did you come here, Mr. Bush? You should have waited until you were called.
It’s Heaven, ain’t it? I died, and I’m a Meth’dist, so where else would I be? An’ I want t’ tell you b’fore I forget, You’re doin’ a heck of a job up here, Pete.
Mr. Bush, this isn’t Yale. There are no legacy admissions here. Each soul must be accepted, or denied, on his or her merits, and nothing else.
But I was pres’dent. You can’t keep a pres’dent out. It says somewhere in the Constitution I think, how a pres’dent gets to keep his Secret Service guys 'til when he dies, then he goes to Heaven. Go ask Reagan, he’ll tell ya’. An’ tell him I’m here, would ya’?
Mr. Bush, our records show it was you who authorized the actions that condemned those lands you call “Iraq” to a perpetual cycle of violence, chaos and war.
That was more Cheney’s doin’, Pete. Shoot, I hardly knew what Iraq was 'til Dick said we had to invade 'em. Say Pete, did you know they had two kinds of Mooslims there? Shoot, nobody ever told me there was two kinds of Mooslims anywheres. I thought they were like Cath’lics. You know, wheres the only difference is if you’re Irish or Mexican or Eye-talian.
Surely you can’t be saying that as leader of the most powerful country down on Earth, you had no part in a decision that left tens of thousands of people dead and maimed, including thousands of your own soldiers?
Wull sure. I had plenty to do with it. I was the decider. I… what I mean is… I did the decidin’. Only one guy decides what needs to get done, and that was me. But it was ol’ Dick who told me what…